


just (don't) come back to me

by tysunkete (aozu)



Series: log(minus 1) anthology [15]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, M/M, Possible Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 17:30:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12916767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aozu/pseuds/tysunkete
Summary: For the prompt:18|things you said when you were scared





	just (don't) come back to me

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written: 08/07/2015.

Lavi’s hands are bloody and raw, but he keeps digging, fingers desperately pushing their way through the rubble. There’s no other noise besides the broken pieces of rocks and cement that he flings away and the laboured gasps that wheezes out of Lenalee who lies still against a broken pillar a couple of meters away with her hands clutching her bloodied thigh. Allen is knocked out cold two steps away from where Lavi is, arm twisted in an awkward angle, but at least Lavi can _see_ him, whereas for Yuu, for _Kanda_ —

He heaves when he grabs a particularly heavy stone, pants coming shorter and faster with every effort that he expends. He’s digging for at least fifteen minutes now but all he sees are white stones and broken metal foundation screws. The wound on his arm protests with every rock he tosses aside, more blood seeping through the makeshift bandage he had wrapped around it.

Kanda has to be under there somewhere—he had witnessed the roof collapsing just as Kanda had shoved Allen out of the way of the main impact. Normally Lavi wouldn’t be so worried; it’s Kanda after all, _General_ Kanda, but whatever abnormal strength or quick recovery that Kanda had ever since Lavi had known him is withering away.

Of course Kanda had hid it as much as the other could, but Lavi is used to noticing things that don’t want to be revealed. Kanda’s wounds don’t heal like they do anymore. Kanda still wears bandages under his shirt that normally would’ve been taken off six months ago. A year ago Kanda had trickled blood into his mouth to bring him back from the slumber Wisely had put him under. A week ago Lavi had thumbed Kanda’s dripping blood off the floor after a particularly tough akuma fight to smear it over a small cut he had over his palm, yet nothing happened.

He doesn’t want to say anything if Kanda doesn’t—but Kanda will _never_ say anything; how long has he known Kanda? How long?

He shoves more heavy rocks out of the way, ignoring the protests his bloodied hands scream at him.

It takes forever, but he doesn’t give up, and finally he pulls and pulls and _pulls_ at one particularly huge stone that nearly crushes him when it falls over to his side, he sees the one he’s been looking over.

The relief, however, is short-lived.

Kanda’s face is miraculously spared, but the other’s lower half is trapped. The worst of it all is a metal spike that protrudes out from below Kanda’s chest, dark blood coagulating on the rusty rod.

It’s all too abrupt how he knows _this is it_.

Words don’t form on his lips, and his hands tremble as they reach out, but not daring to touch anything.

_This can’t be it. Not like that._

He brushes away the bangs that had fallen over Kanda’s face first. “Y-yuu,” he swallows. “Can you hear me?”

Kanda’s eyebrows furrow like they always do, and the other’s eyes crack open to send him that familiar glare. “What…kind of….stupid question is that?” he states, breathing laboured.

Lavi nearly laughs from the sheer amount of normalcy in that response, but his hands are shaking so hard that he can’t concentrate.

“Okay,” he breathes in hard, trying to calm down. “How long do you think you can hold out?”

Kanda doesn’t even attempt to answer that question, which makes Lavi’s blood run cold. It’s even worse than he thought.

“Yuu…” he whispers, trying to think of something that might help, but whatever first aid knowledge is quickly overrun by how long Kanda can keep conscious before the other loses too much blood.

It’s barely a minute more, judging from the how white Kanda’s lips are.

_Not like that._

“Don’t tell…the stupid bean,” Kanda mutters, so softly that Lavi has to lean in close to hear.

“Are you fucking stupid,” he hisses back, just as low, but Kanda ignores him.

“And you better die before…Lenalee….or else…”

These are last words, Lavi knows.

“Don’t. Don’t tell me that. Come on, Yuu,” he tries but fails to crack a grin. “Come on. I still owe you, you know. For saving me. Yuu, you can’t…you can’t just…”

“You’re noisy…shut up and let me…die in peace.”

_Die_.

That’s said too easily from someone who wasn’t supposed to ever—

“Yuu,” Lavi says again, palms pressed against the floor. “I’m not a Bookman anymore. It’s your fault, you know that right?” he continues, throat choking. “After you saved me, you said you’d take responsibility for that.”

“You can…take care of yourself...idiot…”

“Yuu, please…you c-can’t…” his voice cracks. “I haven’t—I haven’t told you that I—…“

His lips move without sound for the last part, and it doesn’t matter anyway. Kanda’s eyes had slipped shut.


End file.
